Unbecoming Me Firsthand

Posted on

Gently, I opened the door to a scene i wish i would have had the foresight to video.  Her back to me, there she sat. Thin silver hair on a head that was bowed forward to read from a book i was sure she could quote complete excerpts from.  She found comfort in it’s pages and familiarity in its words.  Before she could see me I asked “what are you reading this morning Mamaw?”  “Oh sweetheart, I’ve just finished the Proverbs and now reading in the Psalms.”

She always causes me to Unbecome.  Something about being in her presence brings me back to the core of who I am.

She is most like Jesus.  I can barely hold back the tears.  Not because i am shaken by her deteriorating health, but rather inspired by her wholeness.  At age 83, she defines a rare beauty that all of the magazine covers in the world fail to scratch the surface of.  She is WOMAN.  Full of faith, wisdom, grace, strength, joy, peace, stability, determination, style, modesty, and love.  All of my life I have watched her serve.  Serving is beautiful.  We are at our best when we are serving.

I sat there beside her for hours, holding tight to her hand.  Hands that made the cakes which provided the aroma of Holidays past.  Hands that ironed the linens (and i wear out the fluff cycle on my dryer) to the beds traveling evangelists would find rest on.  Hands that worked before “women roared” fashioning the window scapes of her very own clothing store.  Hands that were always open to give Hallelujahs to her true love.  Hands that served countless men and women and children at the SAME church for over 62 years.  Hands intertwined between the strong hands of her husband of 67 years.  Her hands are freckled with years and every wrinkle tells a story.

I am loving her story.

I see myself there.  Trust me, i wouldn’t begin to flatter myself or you into thinking I am half the woman she is.  I just find myself in the pages of her.  I am her legacy.  Without her, there is no me.  She serves me a call i can digest and find longevity in.  A call that beckons me, for every time i get distracted with the load, to warm my heart by the fires of original intent.  Like my Grandmother, I find my purpose in serving.  My King, his kingdom, my family, my friends, my enemy.  I could write a book on what that doesn’t mean, but for the sacred tone of this post, i will refrain.   I can only pray that these veiny, short, strong hands of mine, someday tell a story similar to hers.  If they do, i will have Unbecome very well.

Whose hands hold your story?  Maybe it is someone who is at the root of your family tree.  Maybe it is someone who is a carrier of your spiritual heritage.  Whomever it is, i encourage you to create space in your schedule to hold these hands close and quiet the noise long enough to observe and listen.  You may learn more about yourself and your Unbecoming than you ever dreamed.




9 thoughts on “Unbecoming Me Firsthand

  1. Pastor Stephanie – What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother and to her life of servanthood. This will be an encouragement to every woman who reads it. I love the gift that God has given you to paint pictures and feelings with words so we might know all that is in your heart. Thank you for sharing these precious memories.

  2. Thank you so much Pam. My grandmother is one special lady! Your comment means so much to me as it is one of the things that i hope for in this blog. That my heart would be open and that it is being conveyed in my writings. Thank you again for taking time to encourage me!

  3. Stephanie, how beautifully expressed are you’re feelings for your grandmother. She truly is a wonderful women who has touched many lives including mine.
    By the way, I love this Unbecoming movement that you have started and pray that God blesses this ministry to women beyond all that you can imagine.

    1. Thank you Carol. She certainly is a beautiful woman of God. I am sure her crown in heaven is going to be HEAVY 🙂 And thank you for your support and encouragement of the Unbecoming movement. That is my prayer as well!


  4. How encouraging and inspiring. The one that held my hands is in Heaven now, but I think of her daily. You have reached out in such a special way to so many I thank you for sharing these special times.

  5. This is so powerful! The generational bridges between women must be restored. While reading this my eyes filled with tears as I thought of the precious times I spend with Ms. Jolley (Mama) and the depth of life, wisdom and the virtue of a true servant’s heart that I receive from her. I Absolutely love it Stephanie. Thank you!

    1. Cindy! I seriously can’t believe you are even reading these 😘 I love and miss you girl! And I sooooo agree with you about restoring generation gaps-there is so much to be learned and I am so thankful that you and I have had these beautiful examples in our lives! There are so many precious mothers who are a little older in age who I really feel battle a sense for purpose. There is such a void of their voices! Praying for this generation to be the ones who seek to bridge that gap!

      Again – I love you!!!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *