Welcome to the first edition of “The Stories.” It is only fitting that my first feature in this edition would be Victoria. First of all, when Ronnie and I moved to the ‘Ville to start The Kingdom Center, Victoria Owens and her husband Shawn, were the only people we knew who lived here. I couldn’t begin to recount our history together over the past 10 years…so I won’t try. Secondly, yesterday was her birthday…so allow me to sprinkle a little extra love onto a girl who is SO SPECIAL! Having a VIP seat to her life has been super precious and being a part of her Unbecoming journey…well that’s been INCREDIBLE. I hope her story of Unbecoming Self-Hate and Self-Abuse INSPIRES you!
“Silence is sound equivalence to darkness”Stephanie Harrison
“What if your story is the key that unlocks someone’s else door from darkness?”Stephanie Harrison
What powerful words! These two statements are what compelled me to share with you my Unbecoming story. I am Victoria, and I am Unbecoming.
After I gave birth to my second son the stress and pressure of life, being a mom of 2, working full time, and being a wife all became too much for me to handle. I was functioning off 4-5 hours of sleep every night, I was getting up at the crack of dawn and going to bed at midnight just to keep up with mom duties. Being exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed lead me to being unhappy and bitter. The dissatisfaction of life led to self-hate. I hated myself! I hated that I could never keep my house clean, I hated that cooking dinner was the last thing I wanted to do, I hated that I was always tired, I hated that laundry was never ending, I hated that I sucked at being a mom and wife. “How do mom’s do it?” was the question I always asked myself. And, “where is the manual?”
All the hate then turned personal. I hated my body, I hated my hair, I hated my skin, I hated being short, I hated being chubby, I hated my personality, I hated that I was always angry…I just HATED myself. The hate kept getting deeper and I was turning into a very miserable person.
I was sitting at Unbecoming Me 2017 and I listened to Abi Stumvoll describe God as a painter and me as His masterpiece. She then made the statement, “How could you tell the God that created you that His masterpiece (me) is ugly? You are the apple of His eye! And, every time you speak negatively about yourself, you are self-abusing yourself.”
Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks…I was abusing myself. The hate had spiraled into depression and I became “that person” that was looking for fights with anyone and everyone. I had been so scared to talk to anyone about my issues because I was afraid of being judged. After all…I am married to one of the Board Members of my church, my husband and I serve in leadership, I sang on the worship team, I serve in children’s ministry, and at times I prayed for people at the altar. So how in the world could I ask for help myself? But, I did…I went to my husband and best friend. I asked them both to cover me in prayer and believe with me to be set free.
With the help of my church I was in a service that ABSOLUTELY changed my life. One Sunday morning in the middle of worship, I received an instantaneous miracle. God spoke to me SO loud and SO clear, He Said – The war is over! The war of depression is over. The war of self-hate is over. The war of feeling like you’re not good enough is over!
Instantly, I was overcome with peace. Following that miracle my Pastor preached a sermon series that changed my life and the entire perspective that I had of myself. Within a series of messages that he preached on Identity, he said ”Every new revelation of God should be a new revelation about yourself.” So, I got in the Word and read over and over what the Word said about Him and I made it personal to me.
Today, as I share with you my story of Unbecoming self-hate and Unbecoming self-abuse…I confidently declare to you that I AM THE DAUGHTER OF THE KING, I AM A FRIEND OF GOD, I AM HIS MASTERPIECE, I AM HIS MESSENGER, I AM HIS PROMISE FULFILLED, I AM FREE, I AM CHOSEN. I AM what the Word says that I am!
If Victoria’s story spoke to you – please share it! If you would like to be featured in The Stories edition, please share your story in the “SHARE YOUR STORY” tab in the menu!