I am totally putting myself on blast, but isn’t that what the Unbecoming Movement requires? If my life, mistakes, process, somehow help you identify and seek change then job well done! Like you, I am trying to peel back layers and change some systems in my own life. Sometimes small choices are evidence that a bigger problem is under there somewhere.
One day last week, I had an hour free and what I really needed to do was go to the chiropractor for an adjustment. I have a bulging disc in my S4 & S5 and without divulging all the boring medical facts, it hurts. So during my free hour, I hopped in my SUV and went to get a manicure. Huh? Yep. You got it. A manicure.
My nails were ratchet and after all, you & I can see them. Honestly I didn’t really think much about it until later. I chose to fix the thing we can see. Wrong choice. But I have a history of this. I have a broken self-system. One where I will instinctively choose to give attention to what I can see. I will easily chose to go to the salon, but may or may not have a cavity that is really starting to hurt. After all if my house is clean, laundry is done, pantry is organized, flower beds are weeded, outfit on point…you catch my drift? Then it’s all Gucci.
Outward gratification vs. internal grace
How is it self-love if it is only deterring your attention for a season from fixing the really important things? Sounds more like self-denial to me. Or maybe just plain denial. Either way, this was probably the most important manicure I have ever had. Every time I looked at my hands over the last few days, I was confronted with these thoughts…
Your life is up to you.
You’re in control here.
You’re in charge.
What are you going to do to change it?
This may sound silly, but I am going to start choosing me and not choosing what I see. And so should you. This is not going to be an overnight change. But I believe the more decisions I am faced with and can correctly chose, the closer I am to finding “that girl” again.
Will you Unbecome with me? What are some areas that you can identify? What are some ways you can choose you?